I totally think everyone should be on, or starting, a body confidence journey! You’ve probably figured this out by now because I bang on about it all the bloody time, but I’m such a believer in body confidence and self-love.
Just an FYI, I’m not going to be talking about body positivity anymore because that movement is for people whose bodies have been marginalised in society. Florence Grace’s sums this up really well in her post ‘Why I decided to Leave Body Positivity Behind’ if you want to learn more!
But, I do think that everyone should be confident in and learn to love themselves. Each and every single one of you should know and embrace how much of a goddess you are!
I also know body confidence isn’t an easy thing to achieve or sustain. It isn’t something that you’ll always feel. Your confidence levels will differ on a daily basis. On the days where the confidence isn’t coming easy, we can always to try to conjure up some confidence. But where do you even start?
Your Body is More Than Looks
Bodies are everywhere in society. Everywhere we look, there are bodies with the sole purpose of being something to admire or view. From the classical Renaissance paintings to Love Island contestants, we are surrounded by bodies for our viewing pleasure.
It’s easy to think that’s what our bodies are there for – to be look at, admired and sexualised.
And there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to admire our own or other people’s bodies, in a respectful way – I’m not giving you permission to creep on someone. Admiring your own body is an important step in learning to love yourself. We have to remind ourselves that we look, in the words of Lizzo, good as hell.
But your body is so much more than just how it looks.
Our bodies don’t just exist to be objects which are viewed like art in a museum. They are here to help us live our lives to fullest.
Legs don’t need to be toned or free from cellulite. Our legs help us explore the world and go on adventures. Who cares about ‘bingo wings’ because your arms are there to show people love through hugs or pick up pets/babies (whichever is more appropriate for your life).
It isn’t easy, but remember that your body is more than the way it looks. It is an incredible thing which allows you to live your life. Just think about all the absolutely amazing things that your body has, and will, let you do – travel the world, show your love, laugh with your friends.
Your body is amazing, even if you don’t think that it looks it today!
You’re Not The Only One
I can bet that almost every person around you isn’t feeling in love with their body – which is really sad. Everyone has their own insecurities. It’s just part one of those shitty parts of human nature. We are critical little creatures.
Even the people who are the ‘ideal’ of beauty, or we think are the buffest human we’ve ever seen, probably feel the same way you do.
It can help to remember, you aren’t alone in this. We are all struggling with and working on our own body confidence journey every day. Most people are too worried about their insecurities to notice yours.
The girl you walk past on the street is probably too concerned with her bad hair day to notice that your bingo wings can be seen in that dress. Or the guy sitting across from you on the tube is more worried about whether his gym sessions are paying off to even see that you have a spot on your face.
Everyone is too concerned with in their own insecurities to notice yours. And sometimes it helps to remember that you aren’t the only one feeling this way.
Remember the Inside
The root of your insecurities don’t come from your body – it is all on the inside.
Let’s be honest, you could lose all the weight in the world, fix your wonky nose, invest in lip fillers and you could become a glowing ray of confidence. However, it is more likely that you could still feel the same. Changing the outside, doesn’t always fix the inside.
Confidence always comes from within, so why not start there!
Whilst you’re on your a body confidence journey, work on your mental wellbeing. Whatever that means for you. It could be that you need to start therapy to work through the issues you’re facing. Or maybe, you just need to start journaling, practicing more self-care and looking after your mind.
Whatever it is, just focus on the inside. Changing your body, most likely, won’t result in ultimate confidence gains. You need to learn to love yourself, starting from the inside out.
Also, you aren’t just a physical body. There is so much more to you than just your physical self. Learn to love all parts of yourself. Remember not to just focus on the outside, but also the incredible parts of your personality.
I’m really good at pointing out the negative parts of personality – I’m impatient, a moaner and lazy. However I’m also strong, intelligent, creative, compassionate, determined and (I think anyway) bloody hilarious. So what are you?
Only Your Opinion Matters
Everyone loves to share their opinions, even those about your body. We are surrounded by people constantly telling us things about our bodies.
- ‘Oh wow, you’ve lost weight. You look great.’
- ‘If only your nose was a bit smaller….’
- ‘Do you think you should eat that?’
- ‘You’d be so much prettier if you lost a bit of weight’ (Something I’ve actually been told!)
It’s difficult not to let these opinions take root in your mind. To fixate over them. I know that when someone told me I’d be prettier if I lost weight that I found it impossible to shake it. I mean, three years later and it instantly came to my mind writing this.[Related posts: So Someone Called Me Fat, How To Deal With Toxic People]
But do their opinions even matter? NO. The only opinion that matters when it comes to our bodies, is our own. Only your opinion matters.
It can feel like your inside voice, which is desperately trying to shout about how wonderful you are, can feel muted or drowned out by the external voices. Try to block out that noise, and remember that what you think is all that matters.
However, the chances are that your own opinion isn’t the kindest one, right? Those outside voices completely influence our own opinion so you have to work on creating a kinder voice. Stop being hurtful and harsh about yourself – you are an incredible person.
In your body confidence journey, be your own best friend. If you wouldn’t say it about your best friend, then don’t say it about yourself!
Just put a ban on horrible opinions and be kinder. You deserve to be told constantly how wonderful, beautiful and strong you are. At the end of the day, you only have one body and life so look after yourself with kind, loving thoughts.
No Quick Fix, But You’ll Get There
It won’t be an overnight change. You won’t wake up after doing these things and be the most confident goddess to ever walk the earth.
It is a journey. One that we’ll always be on whilst we are learning to love ourselves. Your body confidence journey is something you need to work on daily, with ups and downs.
However, if you are even just trying to embrace more self-love and confidence, then you already one step closer!
Waking up each day with the intention of being kind to yourself, looking after your mind and caring less about the way you look – that is one step closer to the ultimate goal of self-love and body confidence. Be proud of even just setting that intention and embarking on this journey.