Recently I have been told the same thing twice: ‘You are so pretty and intelligent, but you would be even more beautiful if you lost your weight.’ And I’m not ok with that.
The first time someone told me this, I went to my bedroom, locked the door and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t believe that someone could say that to me! Especially in a society like today where there is a culture of such intense shaming and dieting which leads to so many body issues for people.
Then when it happened again, I thought very briefly whether I did need to lose weight and whether I would be hotter then… But then I though, fuck that! (thanks to my friends and boyfriend for helping me out when I was crying about it)
I am chubby because I love pizza and garlic bread and potatos way too much. But also because I think my mental stability is way more important than being a certain weight or looking a certain way. However, I don’t need to defend my weight to anyone and I don’t think it stops me being smoking hot! Why do we live in culture that forces us to think that being bigger means you can’t be beautiful? Why are those two concepts completely seperate from each other? Why can’t you be both? Why is it so impossible to believe that someone can feel great about themselves without looking a certain way?
I don’t feel as though having a little bit of a squishier tummy or thicker thighs or wobbly arms takes away from who I am. Why should it? My weight does not define me, and it shouldn’t. My brain, my creativity, my kindness are the things I define myself by, not the size of my jeans.
So my message to the people who said that to me (not that they will ever read this) or people who have ever commented on someone’s body: your words have no severe impact on me, but be careful because you never know the struggles people face with their body issues. Plus you might have a ‘better’ body but I’m always going to be better than you because I’m not a self-righteous prick who comments on the way someone looks as you have.1