Body confidence and positivity is something that I feel so passionate about! I’m think that everyone should feel absolutely flawless in their body, no matter what shape/size/colour they are. However, applying that to yourself can be seriously difficult. We are so obsessed with picking out our flaws, putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to everyone. (Thanks a lot mainstream media!!)
In the last few months, I think my relationship towards my body has shifted. Mainly because I’ve stopped being so harsh on myself and started to embrace how my body is great. It hasn’t always been like that, I went through years of hating the way I looked…
Growing boobs + getting fat
As a kid, I was always running about and climbing trees but that changed when puberty hit! I suddenly grew boobs and put on a lot of weight. And ever since that change, I’ve struggled to accept my body. My boobs were too big and got me unwanted attention. I felt so much bigger than all of my friends. I felt like I wasn’t able to run about like I used to.
I always felt incredible guilt when I ate anything slightly unhealthy, but then would binge on unhealthy food because I’d tell myself ‘what’s the point trying to be healthy, you are so fat anyway’. I’d always cry trying to find something to wear because I felt like I was too fat for anything. And lets not even talk about the disgust I felt when I would catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or reflection (I refused to look at my naked body for years).
Stretch marks + Brighton
Even in the last year, the relationship I have with my body has been awful! I’m surrounded by girls that look absolutely stunning on a daily basis (I swear Brighton has the hottest girls in the world?!) and that made me loathe the way I looked more than ever. Before each night out with my housemates, they had to reassure me constantly that I didn’t have back fat, and you couldn’t tell I’d eaten pasta for dinner, and that my arms didn’t look fat. (Thanks gals for always being supportive!!)
Last summer, I lost a bit of weight and suddenly gained some really in-yer-face stretch marks on my stomach. I have always had stretch marks because I have bigger boobs, wide hips and thicker thighs but they were always pretty faint. I was so upset for ages because the ones on my stomach were so much more visible. They made me feel ashamed because stretch marks mean growth and what if people thought I had got fatter??? (That lovely recurring fear of being a bigger than people!)
Changes changes changes
Feeling so rubbish about your own body gets really fucking tiresome, I’ll tell you that! Which is why, in the last few months, I’ve tried to change the way I think about my body. I have had enough of loathing my appearance! It hasn’t been easy, I didn’t just suddenly wake up and think ‘yes I love my body’, but I’m working on it.
It was partly due to following the likes of Gracie Francesca, Megan Jayde Crabbe or Amalie Lee. These three are all incredibly beautiful women promoting body positivity and confidence. They all inspired me to try pushing out those negative thoughts about my body and embrace what my mama gave me!
I’ve forced myself to stop picking out the flaws and to start pointing out the bits I like. Instead of crying over how fat I am, I’m embracing how cute and squishy my body is. Rather than getting upset that my boobs aren’t perfectly perky, I’m happy that I have a cracking cleavage. And do I care about my stretch marks anymore? Do I fuck. Everyone has them so why should I feel that mine make me ugly?!
I still have bad days, but mostly I feel really confident in my body. At the end of the day, this is my body and it’s the only one I’m going to have. So, yes I have flaws but I’m going to force myself love everything about my body because life is way too short not to…