We all have flaws. Well, unless you are some completely perfect superhuman. Most of us have things we think aren’t good enough. The ones which we pick out, zone in on and constantly hate. Every single one of us have at least one thing that is always the focus.
We spend so much of our time focused on the parts that we hate. We constantly obsess over these imperfect parts of ourselves. Spending time trying to remove, improve or change these flaws.
We are trained to hate ourselves. We are taught this, because when we hate ourselves we are helping capitalism make money. It’s understandable that we spend all this time focused on our flaws. And just think about how much time that is.
The amount of time and mental capacity we spend beating ourselves up, criticising everything and picking out those flaws is crazy. But should we spend so much time focused on our flaws?
Embracing Some Self-Love
As you all know (unless you’re new round here and if so, hello!), I really, truly believe with all my heart that we could all do with some self-love, or at least body neutrality.
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Self-love is all about treating yourself with love and kindness. All parts of yourself – mind, body and soul. Therefore, self-love means embracing all parts of ourselves, or at least not actively hating ourselves. This includes those parts that we consider our ‘flaws’.
In order to treat ourselves with love, we should all be trying to care less and embrace our flaws more. And this can definitely be much easier said than done. I mean, it takes time and effort to learn to love yourself.
But should we? Should we just wholly abandon the idea of flaws? Is it a good idea to simply embrace everything about ourselves, without trying to change or improve our flaws?
We Hate Our Bodies Enough
When it comes to physical flaws, then I am firmly in the ~embrace it all~ camp.
Absolutely nobody has the perfect body. Not even, the-now-cancelled Victoria Secret Angels. Everybody has flaws and imperfections – no matter how perfect they might seem on Instagram. Those are the things that make us unique.
As I’ve said a million times, your body isn’t something to just to look a certain way and be attractive. The only reason your body exists to help you live an amazing, happy and fulfilled life.
So if we are being honest, as long as your body is doing that then it is completely perfect. No matter how you look.
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The amount of time and energy that we spend thinking about or trying to change our bodies is kind of heart breaking. All this time and energy could be spent having adventures, being with our families or just enjoying the lives we have.
How many times have you let those flaws impact your life?
The times you have spent covered up on a beach because you felt your body was too flawed to have fun splashing around with everyone. The energy you’ve spent putting on makeup to hide your face. Or the amount of times you’ve been so focused hiding a flaw that you’ve not worn an outfit you liked.
We have all done it. It’s hard to escape your own head and critical voice. Trying to embrace your own flaws isn’t easy.
But when it comes to our bodies, then we should all try to focus less on our flaws. Just try to embrace them as another part of your body and be a bit kinder.
What About Other Flaws?
However, flaws aren’t just physical. There are also flaws in our personalities. And should we be so quick to wholeheartedly embrace those?
When it comes to the flaws of our personality, I’m a bit more hesitant to say we should just embrace them all. Although it’s unlikely that we have some terrible flaws of our personality that will let us become serial killers, I still think we shouldn’t be as quick to embrace them.
I know that the ‘bad’ parts of my personality are usually the ones that cause me to act like a dick or end up in negative situations. My temper is fiery and it can cause me to kick off easily. I’m one of the most impatient people and I hate having to wait for things or people. My negative and pessimistic outlook means that I can be a real miserable bastard.
All of these things are part of my personality. But I consider them flaws because they don’t usually do me, or people around me, any good.
I think it’s not healthy to be of the mindset that says ‘Well that’s just who I am and I can’t change it.’ If I did that then I’d probably have zero friends or family because I’d be a grumpy, miserable twat who kicks off constantly. And nobody wants to be that person.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a better version of yourself. Sometimes that includes working on the flaws in your personality. We should all be striving to be happy, kind and positive people.
So Where Do I Stand?
I’m always working to improve my personality. I actively work on reducing the influence those flaws have over my life and behaviour.
I try to make sure that my temper is used for important reasons. My impatience is limited to waiting for food. And I always try to fill my mind with positive and grateful thoughts rather than my go-to mindset.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve or work on the parts of our personalities that cause us to act poorly or be put in negative situations. I think that it is a really important part of growing as a human and self-care.
But when it comes to our bodies, I don’t think we should try to ‘improve’ our flaws. Always try to embrace the things you think are flaws in your body. It’s the only body you have and it deserves to be loved, or not thought about so much.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Are you firmly in the embrace-it-all camp or do you think we should work on ourselves more?