Heartbreak & Homecoming: Reflecting on 2019

Well, 2019 was a weird year. I think a lot of people would agree with that. For me, it was a rollercoaster ride of a year. There were plenty of adventures and exciting times. There were some really big life changes too – both good and bad. It was a real mixed bag.

We are heading into 2020: a brand new year with all the possibilities, experiences, changes and fresh starts. I thought now would be a good time to have a chat all about the ending year. A reflection on the year. All the important, amazing and significant moments or things I’ve achieved.

I Learnt To Drive

In 2019, I finally passed my driving test. And to most people, it probably doesn’t sound like a big deal but for me it really was.

When I turned 17 (which seems like yesterday but was actually six years ago?!), all my friends were buzzing with excitement to learn to drive. I pretended that I wasn’t bothered, but in reality I was terrified. There was some part of me that never wanted to drive because I was so scared and anxious about it. I mean, I had a ridiculous fear of roundabouts?!

But I finally plucked up the courage this year – i.e. was forced to by my parents. It took a whole load of money, a bunch of different instructors and three attempts at my parking test. Eventually, however, all the hard work paid off.

Now I’m driving around some of the craziest streets with even crazier drivers. I’m talking arrogant expats in big cars on seven-lane freeways type of crazy. But, I love it now. Being able to drive anywhere I want has given me such a confidence boost, especially when I was so scared before I started.

Spent Some Time Traveling

One of the most exciting things I did during 2019 was going traveling. It wasn’t a massive six-month long trip but I did spend four weeks traveling through three countries.

It’s bittersweet to look back on because I was dumped only two months later. However, it was the most incredible experience so I’m determined not to let that overshadow or take away from how amazing it was.

But it was completely amazing. It taught me so much about myself. Mainly that I want to explore as much of the world as possible, but also that I have to take things slower sometimes.

I got to explore Thailand, Vietnam and India. All of which were so different, and yes sometimes a culture shock, but absolutely incredible. I fell in love with each country for different reasons. I saw the most marvellous things like the Taj Mahal, Thailand’s islands and Halong Bay. Plus, I got to eat some of the most delicious food ever.

The memories of this trip, whilst being bittersweet, will last a lifetime.

I Left My Job

Recently, I wrote about surviving a tough job after I quit the job I’d been in for two years. It was my first job straight out of uni and it taught me so many things. I got to be a part of some brilliant experiences and had a lot of responsibilities.

[Related Post: Five Ways to Survive a Crappy Job]

Although choosing to quit was definitely the right decision, it was still a scary leap into the unknown.

By the time I left, I had outgrown the role and wasn’t being challenged anymore. And as terrible as unemployment is, I’m excited to move onto the next chapter. I know that when I find a new job, I’ll be completely terrified, anxious and feeling imposter syndrome.

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However, I can’t wait for it. I’m so excited to find something that really challenges and excites me. It’s time for the next adventure, whatever that is.

Then I Was Dumped

It wasn’t necessarily the best experience, but being dumped was definitely a significant and life-changing moment in 2019.

A few months after traveling, my relationship came to an end and I was completely heartbroken. With the breakup, all the plans I had for the next six months were completely turned upside down. I had no idea what to do or where to go next.

[Related Post: Seven Ways to Deal With Heartbreak]

Although I’m still trying to mend my lil broken heart, I’m starting to see the positives of it. Being dumped is shit, obviously, but it can also be a blessing in disguise. And I’m starting to see that. I wasn’t ready for the relationship to end, but it did give me a wake-up call.

I think I really needed that wakeup call. It gave me a bit of a shock back into life. I’d gotten too comfortable and wasn’t really moving forward with my life. It made me realise that I’d planned the entirety of my near-future around someone that wasn’t me. And there is nothing wrong with building a life with someone. However, it felt like all my plans depended on being with someone and what they wanted.

This breakup gave me the opportunity to think about my life. What I wanted and needed. It forced me to remember to put myself and my happiness first. So, even though I am still gutted, maybe this was a blessing in disguise. One that has reminded me that my life needs to be what I want.

Now I’m Moving Back Home

If you haven’t heard, I’m moving back to the U.K. in January after living the expat life in Dubai for two years. Moving abroad is an exciting opportunity, and I think that moving home is going to be the same.

[Related Post: My Honest Feelings About Moving Home]

I could never and will never regret spending these two years in Dubai. However, it was never a forever home. I’ve reached the point where I want something new! And for now, that something new means moving back home. And who knows where I’ll go in the future?

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There you have it – a whole lot of reflecting on 2019. As you can see, it has been a complete rollercoaster of a ride.

There were incredible highs during my month travelling. I achieved something I never thought I would when I passed my driving test. Then there were some slightly more sad moments.

Overall, I can’t complain that much. It’s been a year where I’ve made big choices, been forced to put myself first and really thought about what I wanted it. Now, I’m just excited to see where 2020 takes me and what exciting things lie in store.

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What were your biggest and best moments of 2019?

Hannah xx

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