A really strange part of my anxiety is the really intense and burning feeling of ‘fomo’ that I get. I hate the phrase but it’s the only way to describe it! For anyone who has been living under a rock for the last few years, fomo = fear of missing out. I don’t know if anyone else gets this feeling, or whether my anxiety is just super weird!?
I say no to, and cancel, a lot of social situations. My friends all know that I’m prone to bailing last minute! But every time I say no or cancel, this niggling feeling comes back. A feeling that really overwhelms me. I could be busy already,
but I will still end up feeling it! I start to get this unbearable feeling that I am missing out on something. What I everyone has loads of fun and I don’t? I am constantly worried that I might be missing out on an opportunity where I should be having fun!
Obviously, a lot of time I say no because certain situations trigger my anxiety. I know myself and my disorder well enough to know what triggers it. I would rather avoid those situations than risk upsetting my mental health when it is doing alright, for once! These situations will usually involve going out out or lots of drunken people. In my past, I have experienced some trauma surrounding alcohol, so large groups of drunk people can be really unsettling for me. As anyone knows, this is such a difficult thing to avoid when you’re in your twenties and the idea of socialising for your pals revolves around alcohol a lot!
Sometimes, I can overcome these triggers and enjoy myself. But, sometimes I push myself too far, which means I end up full of anxiety, nearing on a panic attack and completely exhausted. So a lot of the time, I do say no because it isn’t worth feeling like someone has shit me out tbh! Yet, even when I do say no, my anxiety still pops up to say hello.
You would think, by avoid the triggers, that I’d be anxiety free and calm… I wish! When I say no, my brain kicks into overdrive. ‘What if all your friends talk about you? Think about all the fun you’re missing out on. You’re not going to have the same memories and bond that all your other friends do! Why are you so bloody boring?’
I can deal with seeing all the Snapchats and photos from things I miss out on. I can think, ‘well I have done what’s best for me and I’m glad they still had a great time!’. Realistically, too, I know that my friends aren’t going to sit there and slating me that much. Even if they do, it’s usually because they are upset that I’m missing out. Not because they hate me!
But the though of being boring has been really overwhelming me recently. Am I really boring because I can’t go out as easily as everyone else? It is boring that sometimes I prefer to just chill out and watch Celeb Masterchef (guys, I’m so obsessed and Gregg is such a babe!)? Do people think I’m boring and miserable? Really. I need to get over this! I’m not going to change and become a huge party animal, so I need to stop getting worked up. I enjoy staying home, eating snacks and watching TV!
Equally, I love going to the pub or hunting for the best mac and cheese that Brighton has to offer (anyone have any recommendations?). Just sometimes, I can’t deal with certain social situations and that is ok! My mental health is important. Putting it first, keeping myself healthy and staying in a stable state, these are really important to me. If that makes me lame and boring, do I really care? The answer is nope! I have to do what’s best for me, we all do.
Am I the only one that gets super bad ‘fomo’? What tips do you guys have for getting over this silly fear I have?