In my daily life, there is a constant battle between two conflicting sides of me. It’s like a cartoon with a devil and angel on my shoulders who won’t bloody shut up. These two sides of me are continually fighting for dominance in my brain. It’s a battle between wanting to be super successful whilst being a stereotypical lazy girl.
I have big dreams; I know who I want to be and (mostly) what I want to achieve. Dreams of living my life to the fullest, having a successful career and filling my time with happiness. These dreams require work though. Or at least leaving my sofa…
I don’t mind that. I love to work hard. I’m the loser who loved writing a dissertation because of how much work I had to put in. I really thrive when I’m busy and have a project to get stuck into. Being busy at work always feels fulfilling, no matter how tired I am. It means I’m doing something, getting experience and the days fly by. Aside from work, I want to live the best possible version of my life. I want to travel, explore and have fun.
But, here it is, the other part of my personality is much lazier. You know those memes about trying to avoid washing your hair for yet another day? I can’t begin to tell you how much I relate to those. It’s as though that little devil on my shoulder is whispering ‘Screw it all. Stay in bed and binge watch Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time.’ If it was up to this little devil, I’d be doing none of the stuff I dream of. I’d be slobbing about, staying in my pyjamas and doing as little as possible.
So how do I try and strike a balance? Trying to appease both sides, is not easy. I’ll be honest, I actually have no idea how to strike a balance and the little devil wins most of the time. As much as I love being productive, getting lots done and doing new things, I can very easily lose motivation. A chilled weekend at home is a nightmare for me. You’d think, but Hannah that’s the perfect time to sit down to write a post or organise your life? Nope, I’ll end up driving myself crazy and do nothing apart from playing stupid games on my phone.
Maybe, the trick is to just be more strict with myself. Choosing to stay home and do nothing is a really easy choice to make. But will I ever achieve anything or live my best life by staying home? Probably not. I should decide to go out, have more adventures and do things that are fulfilling rather than lying about on the sofa.
So maybe it’s time for the devil and lazy girl to take the back seat for the while?1