Recently I went on the trip of a lifetime (well, over a month ago but that’s not the point)! It was the most incredible adventure with the recipe for perfection – four countries and three countries with my boyfriend. What a dream, right? And it really was. Aside from one thing. Something which threatened to ruin the entire trip.
Taking Over The Trip
I spent a month gallivanting all over Asia having the time of my life with Nick. However, there was something that loomed in the background. It lurked around with the possibility of ruining my holiday. Whilst I was having the best time, exploring all these wonderful new places, something was playing on my mind. Something that I just couldn’t shake
My body image.
Although I was on a holiday I’d been dreaming of for over a year, spent a ridiculous amount of money on and created a jam-packed Pinterest board for, all I could think about was my body.
Snorkelling in the crystal clear waters of Thailand? I was completely preoccupied with how my body looked. Exploring the stunning historic sights of India? I was focused on whether people were judging me for being out of breathe. Kayaking around the breath-taking beauty of Halong Bay? I was petrified people were staring in disgust at my bikini-clad body.
A Plummeting Self-Confidence
It was the most unbelievable adventure. And I did have the best time. However, I also felt the most self-conscious I have felt in months. My body nearly became my sole focus. There were a few times were I just burst in tears because I felt so disgusted by myself. My body image, which I pride myself on, was plummeting to an all-time low.
The way I looked was taking over my mind. Instead of embracing this adventure and being in the moment, I was obsessing over my body. It was so close to ruining our entire trip. A few times I didn’t even want to leave our hostels because I couldn’t bear for anyone to see me. All I wanted to do was coverup and hide my body.
But covering up isn’t exactly practical when you’re in hot countries or on the beach though. Plus even if it was practical, it was important that I didn’t.
Remembering to Love Myself
Covering up would have given into a stupid belief that I wasn’t good enough. Which I know, in my heart, isn’t true. It was time to give myself a talking to and remember that I’m worthy. It was my turn to listen to all the affirmations of self-love and body confidence.
As much as I could, I tried to remind myself that my body is beautiful for the rest of the trip. It wasn’t easy, especially when I was on beaches surrounded by absolutely gorgeous women! But it just meant I had to force myself to remember that I, too, am gorgeous.
Has anyone else ever felt their body image threatening to ruin something they’d been looking forward to for so long? If you want to see more of my trip, you can see all my snaps on Instagram.1