As most of you probably already know, I have moved to Dubai. I’m not sure how long I will be here for. It could be 3 months, or it could be 2 years! Picking up and leaving (half of) my family, my boyfriend and all my friends has been really difficult. But it is something that I needed to do!
Going to university was my big escape. I grew up in a small village and always felt suffocated by it. For as long as I could remember, even though I loved growing up in the countryside, I couldn’t wait to leave! When I moved to Brighton, I felt so much freedom. I felt the luxury of choice. Drinking at 11pm? Walking to the beach? Spending all my money in H&M? I could do all these things! It no longer meant relying on my mum for a lift or waiting over an hour for a bus (that never even turned up). I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and however I wanted.
Sunglasses – Primark
Bag – Select
Top – Primark
Trousers – Warehouse
Sliders – Select
So when the end of uni, inevitably, came about I was devastated. All my friends were fairly excited to go home (probably because most of them live in/just outside London), why wasn’t I? It meant going back to that isolating, boring little place in Bucks. It had nothing to do with my mum, sister or nanna. I love them all, unconditionally, but the thought of going home was filling me with so much dread and anxiety.
At first, I decided there was no way I was leaving Brighton. I couldn’t part with the city that has my heart. So why not just stay? But as a fresh graduate, with a overwhelming overdraft and no job prospects, the £500-plus-a-month on rent was a no go. I’d resigned myself to going home when it dawned on me that living with my dad and stepmum was option. They live in Dubai, a busy city with lots going on and opportunities abound. Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner? Because it meant leaving everyone…
Moving half-way across the world is hard. I’ve had to leave a big chunk of my support network behind. I don’t have any friends out here. Right now, the only friendships I have revolve around tagging my friends in memes on Facebook so they don’t forget me. I’ve not got my boyfriend here and long distance relationships are bloody hard! But the thing I’ve struggled with the most is my family.
My mum and sister were, obviously, upset at my decision to move to Dubai. They hadn’t lived with me for three years and were excited for me to come back. There were arguments before I left, and still some now that I’m here, because they miss me.
But, I had to do this for me. As much as I miss everyone and feel bad for upsetting my family, I had to move. I couldn’t face going back home. It’s a tiny place, with barely any opportunities for my career, with no social aspects that I enjoy, and no freedom. For my mental wellbeing, I needed to move on from a place I associated with a lot of my depression and anxiety. It’s important to do things for you. People might be upset or understand your decision, but doing what is right for you is the priority.
What things have you had to do for yourself, even if it upset people? Let me know in the comments.
Hannah x
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